You

by Achala Parashar, 1st MPTh

You.

Who can’t figure what, but can’t think not of what is bothering you.

Who can’t feel the new year, new you.  Who wishes when someone says, “what is it? let’s talk”, you knew, oh how you wish you knew. You need saving and loving and that seems so much to ask for and no one to ask from, even with hands of assurance all around you. 

Hey you, saving lives without knowing. Easing pain with warm towels and ice bottles. Breaking down less, and ever so often. Let me let you speak, of your pain and how you’re breathing lately. How your sleep has been changing, how food doesn’t seem to be helping you.    

Second guessing, if the hand of assurance, loving and forgiving you’re awaiting, is of you.  

  Wondering if while learning to be a physical therapist, it is worth having a kit of tools and a set of skills that can save you. A warm conversational hot pack that breaks the pain- mind spasm cycle. An emo-meter helping you express where you are or mental mobilization when thoughts and feelings grip you. Why are we hesitant? Along with learning professionalism and cooking, “Tamara matha kharab hoye toh su karvanu che?” is worth addressing. “Mala koni prem karat nahi,” vaatlyavar knowing what to feel next can come in handy. Half asleep and half anxious almost adults have come together and are calling you. We are willing to make ourselves healthier and for god’s sake, happy. We are refreshing the memory of “neeehaaaa khelne aa rahi haaii??” realising it has got to be “Nehaaaa want to be working on your mental health and emotion? Come lets go!” Look outside. The corona and NRC, an impending nuclear war, broken marriages and the strangest atrocities, why does it look like the inside of my mind before a deadline?

 And how long am I willing to get knocked over by every breeze of change or challenge? It looks like it’s time for reconstruction. Of governments and policies, foundations of nations and relations and of you. It’s a good time you know, to let go, of the temporary fixes, and empty assurances because whether you like it or not,  inqulab ki dastak har darwaze par hai, how can we escape this one, this internal revolution? Let’s see it through this time.